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Blog: the pully string things
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ALEXFIDO



Joined: 24 Feb 2006

Posts: 67
Location: sidmouth

PostPosted: 20/03/06, 17:34    Post subject: Blog: the pully string things Reply with quote

tis monday now and the pully string things will be back from there winter holidays on wednesday,they should be in fine fettle,which means my face wont be red and the veins wont be standing out on the side of my neck when i try and start the blighters.
the pair of them are sneaky devils,im convinced they know the sound of my boots coming across the outfield,and they have learnt how to turn off their own fuel taps.happy days
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ALEXFID0
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PostPosted: 22/03/06, 18:58    Post subject: Pully string things - 2 Reply with quote

DOWN THE GROUND AT TEN TODAY AWAITING THE ARRIVAL OF THE PST,s,JOINING IN THE WELCOMING COMMITEE IS THAT DOYERN OF THE OUTFIELD DAVID "FIVE MOWERS" JONES,READY TO PUT HIS TRUSTY STEED TO THE TEST,WHILE AT THE SAME TIME TRYING OUT THE NEW GANG MOWER.
WHAT A SIGHT TO LIFT THE SPIRIT,TWO ADONIS LIKE FIGURES SOARING AROUND THE CRICKET FIELD RESEMBLING SOMETHING LIKE THE CHARIOT RACE FROM BEN HUR.
THE GRASS CUTTING BIT DONE,IT WAS TIME TO PUT THE PST,s AWAY AND AWAKE OLD THUNDER FOR THE START OF ANOTHER SUMMER OF ROLLING,AAH THE PLEASURES OF LIFE.(SOME SAY THAT WRITING IN CAPITOLS IS SHOUTING ON PAPER,BUT WHEN YOU DRIVEN OLD THUNDER FOR TWO HOURS IT MAKES YOU SLIGHTLY DEAF)NOW WHERE,S MY UMPIRES COAT.HAPPY DAYS
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If you see a lonely figure wandering, what appears to be aimlessly, around the cricket square on a piece of machinery - that will probably be me !
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ALEXFIDO



Joined: 24 Feb 2006

Posts: 67
Location: sidmouth

PostPosted: 24/03/06, 08:10    Post subject: the creakings Reply with quote

Thursday night and its net night at Woodroffe school,i got there early this week and as usual some of the younger members were already in full swing.
For some unknown reason the radar in the right arm seemed to have been on the blink for the first half hour,once warmed up i found my usual accurate line,every ball down leg side.
Now its time to put down the crimson rambler and pick up the wand of doom,one of our newer members to the club Neil Price bowling accurate away swingers,then enter the arena the king of spin,the earl of twirl,BJ Rattenbury.Almost every ball had me swishing at thin air and pirouetting around like something out of swan lake.
Theres a thought to make the blood run cold.
A little bit more bowling and the first signs of the creakings were setting in,they start in the shoulder and gradually work their way round the whole body,by the time i got back home i was walking and looking like albert steptoe,iheard that.happy days.
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ALEXFIDO



Joined: 24 Feb 2006

Posts: 67
Location: sidmouth

PostPosted: 28/03/06, 18:56    Post subject: i,m not drunk really Reply with quote

Got back friday everything was ok with the world,the creakings were subsiding and i had visions of doing a bit more ground work over the next few days.
Saturday morning and the first signs of an attack of the old problem,meneares,i think thats how it spelt.I would not wish it on any one well thats not strictly true,only if you are a trass rack gacer.funny it seems to affect my spelling.
It is in fact an affliction of the inner ear,therefore the balance goes a bit doolally,just about over it now,people pay serious money to get to this state on a saturday night.
I have often thought it might improve my bowling if only i could stand up long enough,so if you see me wobbling a bit some times,ive taken the pills and i,m not drunk really.happy days Rolling Eyes
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ALEXFIDO



Joined: 24 Feb 2006

Posts: 67
Location: sidmouth

PostPosted: 30/03/06, 19:56    Post subject: To coin a phrase Reply with quote

Thank heavens for that ,the wobbles have gone and wednesday was spent getting to grips with an old bedford rascal,in between dodging the showers.I was thinking if there is any chance of doing a bit of rolling on thursday,but to coin a phrase "i don,t believe it".
I awoke today with what felt like a rummaging badger living in my head,had to take the usual mixture of non working cold relief remedies,interspersed with granny macs all cure linctus(honey,lemon,linseed oil and shred of old willow).The weather forecast looks more favourable over the next couple of days and i,m starting to get withdrawal symptoms,we can all live in hope,imagine how crowded it would be.happy days
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ALEXFIDO



Joined: 24 Feb 2006

Posts: 67
Location: sidmouth

PostPosted: 03/04/06, 21:09    Post subject: The skipper,the rope and old thunder. Reply with quote

Monday morning and nothing was going to stop me,still with the back end of an attack of mange and with a throat feeling like a thrimpers rasp i sallied forth toward uplyme.
Music to ears as the PST crackled into life sounding like a sopwith camel with a misfire on number three,i had to make do with sun glasses as i had left flying goggles in the spit.
The square was quite damp as i found out very quickly when my simpkin automatic flipper boots burst into action.The square looked quite good after the cut,the question is,was it too damp to roll.Well there i was sat astride old thunder,i almost burst into song but didn,t think i could carry off singing "the deadwood stage is coming on over the hill,whip crack away",didn,t have the right hat for it really.
I started to roll,everything seemed to be going well then we hit a really damp bit,almost blind panick set in,we were stuck and started to sink.As luck would have it at that moment the second team skipper sir Toby the accurate came charging across the outfield on his trusty white steed,funny it had a foriegn name,volkswagon van.
With rope in hand he stroad heroically up to old thunder attached what appeared to be a piece of thick string and we dragged old thunder off the square.It was at this point i decided not to chance my luck,and having thanked sir toby for his assistance i made my way home to have my regular glass of vimto and a marmite&semolina sandwich,there with a brace of cod go i.happy days
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ALEXFIDO



Joined: 24 Feb 2006

Posts: 67
Location: sidmouth

PostPosted: 09/04/06, 21:07    Post subject: another piece of coal Reply with quote

Well since my last fuarey,foray,phoorey,visit to these pages all sorts have happened.Earlier in the week i thought i was seeing the birth of a new strong man balancing act as i wondered into the away changing room to see Roger"the roof"jones balancing the whole ceiling on his head,it then transpired it was in fact half a sheet of plasterboard.
I spent wednesday cutting and rolling the square so all the sideways and diagonal bits are now done,all this for mud.
Upon returning to castle fido i turned on that infernal contraption the pooter,things were not well as nasty little thargoids were attacking my peripherals,painful when the winds coming from the urals.
I struggled on until friday when the beasty finally gave up and the blue screen of doom appeared,so it was off to the pooter doc who picked it up on friday and was ready by saturday,having added another piece of coal.
Wasn,t life more simple in days gone by,when you would get your entertainment by sitting in a smoke filled room called a kinematergraph and watch your heros of the silver screen always win,and be safe in the knowledge that Douglas Jardine would bring back the ashes.
Anyway enough of my inane ramblings,and back to the real world,tis sunday and the work party are at the ground,as rolled up and down i watched four blokes trying to master the vaguaries of the outdoor net frame,all agreed it must have been put together by the rgos flat pack furniture dept.
though i say it myself the ground does look good.happy days
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ALEXFIDO



Joined: 24 Feb 2006

Posts: 67
Location: sidmouth

PostPosted: 19/04/06, 17:45    Post subject: Rowdy Yates rides again Reply with quote

Its easter weekend and the uvver arf has ensconced herself down with the outlaws at sunny hexmouth and has taken girly and the teutonic hound himmel with her.Not to sure about that dogs intentions the way it goose steps about the place secretly clicking its blaky fitted paws.
That just leaves me and the boy and carrying on with the german theme i treated us both to a grade one haircut using my patented panzer head shavers,only just managed to get the boy done before he escaped my grasp.
We spent thursday, friday and saturday cutting and rolling,it was then i made a near disasterous error by trying to mark the square,i had one attempt at it on the friday but it didn,t look right.
Down again on the sunday,when you could have knocked me down with a feather,that would be fred feather southern counties light middleweight champion 1936-38.When who was strolling purposefully across the field,none other than Mark"keep them dawgy,s rollin"Brimacombe offering to do some rolling,kindly soles such as this should be treated with great reverance and a small shrine was immediatly erected behind the old pavilion.
What a team,working in perfect unison like any great double act, kepple and betty,bootsy and snudge,torvil and dean,pearl and dean.I redid the lines again still not quite right but they will have to do.if any body is interested in doing some work on the ground let me know.happy days
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ALEXFIDO



Joined: 24 Feb 2006

Posts: 67
Location: sidmouth

PostPosted: 24/04/06, 15:47    Post subject: looking for treasure Reply with quote

Spent the week knee deep in computer discs and bits,thats why i keep my hair so short,stops me pulling it out,anyway i digress.i was down the ground by tenish and set about the mowing and rolling with great gusto,foriegn chap used to be an escapologist until the strange accident with a bear trap and a set of mother of pearl thumbscrews,eye wateringly nasty.
As i gazed across the ground i could not believe my eyes,as bold as brass three blokes drove across the field and nicked the kids playground,they took the lot,if i didnt know any better i,d swear they were the lavender hill mob.After they left,two other people arrived with a dog and started digging,i can only imagine they were looking for treasure as the dog kept any at bay who ventured to close,its either that or they were part of some bizarre escape commitee.
By this time my cohort had arrived at the ground and carried on with the rolling,as i left the ground i wondered were they going to replace the playground with an outdoor lido,which were all the fashion in my youth,time will tell.happy days
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ALEXFIDO



Joined: 24 Feb 2006

Posts: 67
Location: sidmouth

PostPosted: 26/04/06, 20:32    Post subject: cows and banjo,s and superglue man Reply with quote

Arrived at the ground at 1.30 and gave the strip a very light roll,not before time as you might have noticed it is starting to look a tad chubby at either end.I also chucked some warpaint on it,still can,t get those lines straight.We started the match sort of on time,a bit dissapointing that a few more 1st and 2nd team players didn,t turn up but never mind that gave a golden oppurtunity to the youngsters to shine and shine they did.
what cracking afternoons entertainment,the youngsters racing round the outfield like wurling dervish,s and the bowling was excellent apart from one idiot who only good ball took a wicket and the rest cost 35 runs in 5 overs,now let me see what was his name.
When we batted we were losing wickets at a steady rate,so enter the arena yours truly at peak of physical fitness,cough,splutter,weeze.I put plan (a) into affect namely try and hit everything,probably a mistake to the young leg spinner at the other end.And so it proved once again that i can,t hit a cows bum with a banjo and what made it worse was i got caught by some one who we will call super glue man,who is not renowned for his catching.
I have used a soodonim,sudinim,false name to protect the innocent as i dont want to drop luke reed in it.It turned out to be an good game and was won with the last ball of the game.To those who dont need the practice look out, the lads are chomping at the bit.happy days
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ALEXFIDO



Joined: 24 Feb 2006

Posts: 67
Location: sidmouth

PostPosted: 02/05/06, 21:15    Post subject: why always three,s Reply with quote

It was a fairly average week,and i just passed on a computer to family who desparately needed one for their kids to do their home work on,thank you donna much appreciated.
so on to sunday we all met down the ground,we loaded my charabanc up to the gunnels with wallace"the wrist" in the front and mark"the pad"batey somewhere in the back.we managed to reach the heady speed of 25 mph and had to stop every 2 miles to wipe the flies from our pratt&whitney high speed rocket goggles,i was convinced we were overtaken by a ransome crawler.
We arrived at symene cricket club having circumnavigated symondsbury twice,the second time round we appeared to be chased,wallace intimated it might have something to do with an incident involving a pot of jellied eels and two flagons of dorset cider,i didn,t ask,if i dont know i cant give evidence.
What a cracking little ground,it was not long before i was jumping about the field like a leaping salmon,well more like a beached whale,it was at this point i picked up my first injury,i grazed my knee.it wasn,t long after the batsmen let go an absolute screamer,well enough about his gastric problems,needless to say he hit the ball hard,it went about 30 yards at 2 foot above the ground.Yours truly in a real heroic leap sideways to make what would have been the catch of the year only succeeded in moving a few bones around in my hand,oh good heavens that hurts.
We managed to bowl them out for 124,and stopped for an absolutely scrumtious tea,the old mitt was starting ache and swell,so with a quick application of dr septus needermeyers all cure pile ointment we set out to bat.we started steadily apart from me who seemed to have purfected the art of scoring backwards,anyway we plodded on.my plan to bore the fielding side into submission seemed to be paying dividends,right upto the point when their groundman came onto bowl.
Amongst the basset allsorts was a perfect full toss which i thought happy christmas and heres a four,its then you realise your wrong when the ball hits an edge and balloons into my chops,and to add insult to injury we lost.oh well happy days
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ALEXFIDO



Joined: 24 Feb 2006

Posts: 67
Location: sidmouth

PostPosted: 05/05/06, 19:53    Post subject: the mud as well Reply with quote

One of the PST,s had to go back to the doctor today as some bright spark left an old stud on the practice strip,crash, bang,wallop its not to bad.
As luck would have it dr john left us with another machine,while i was trying out said beast what dear readers do you think i saw?no not a zeppelin hovering over miss brightlingtons dog biscuit imporium,mind you there would be if himmel the teutonic hound had anything to do with it,daft dog is starting to wear a spiked helmet.
No not tim"the flashing blade"daniels white water rafting down the river up,but the return of the lavender hill mob to the area that used to be the kids play ground.Not satisfied with removing the equipment they looked like they were taking the mud as well,by the cringe these blokes were thorough,if my guess is right i think they are looking for the slithery slothe of plyme,didn,t have the heart to tell them it had moved london,entered politics and changed its name to prohn jescott.
Any way the first game of the league season is tomorrow and the firsts are at home,if were lucky and the 20 pints of dr bilges yellow bezelican liquid ointment has soaked in at the pavilion end the earl of twirl should have a field day.happy days
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ALEXFIDO



Joined: 24 Feb 2006

Posts: 67
Location: sidmouth

PostPosted: 15/05/06, 00:13    Post subject: the bickley safari Reply with quote

We(the2nds)had a cracking good win at cullompton the week before,and a great 20/20 match against palmers brewery.so on an unpredictable day myself and neil"the swinger"price set forth from sidmouth after thrusting the rusty starting device in the general area of the engine of the old festa.
The rattly beast whimpered into life sounding something akin to a bucket of marbles.
As we entered into the ground at bickley i got a feeling of dark forboding,i joined my compardres in the middle of the field,it was while we were chucking the ball to each other that i discovered we were actually on the square and lighter strip of grass was the pitch(note i didn,t say shorter).
one must assume that the pitch was cut with a sythe and beaten flat with a 4lb trout caught in the river bick.
Yours truly volunteered to do the wicketkeeping,funny there was a massive sigh of relief at the realisation that i would not be bowling.There were a few hints of what might be heading our way,we manage to restrict bickley to 151.We started our innings and of course it started to rain,as we huddled in the pavilion some of the more nervy members swore they could see movement in the outfield,some said they had seen a water buffalo,others a hippo or a gater.
I must admit it was wetter than an otters pocket,so using my gross&strumpet all weather amphibian binoculars i spotted what appeared to be a conning tower looking back at me.This immediatley raised my suspicions,yes you,ve guessed it himmel the teutonic hound and some of his scurrilous hyena types had purloined a u-boat and were patrolling the river bick.Quick thinking was needed and mark"nine fer"colley let off a couple of maroon rockets which brought the quick intervention of the lyme regis lifeboat,luring the infidel himmel and his cohorts away with a mixture of snitzel flavour dog chews and mahlers symphony no.1.
Well,we struggled and lost in appalling conditions and the cricket wasn,t much better.happy days
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ALEXFIDO



Joined: 24 Feb 2006

Posts: 67
Location: sidmouth

PostPosted: 17/05/06, 23:40    Post subject: comings and goings Reply with quote

Down the ground monday when another couple of suspicious types turned up to take measurements of the kids play ground,i saw them talking to a chap from the coast guard.Well this convinced me they were going to embark on a piece of engineering brilliance by building a jet propelled mile long launch tube for the lyme regis life boat,if only his greatness the fred of dibnah could see this.
My suspiciouns were strengthened when one of the aformentioned chappies said they were going to remove about 1.5 tons of topsoil,i think they might have under estimated the task in hand.All this is to take place at the beginning of june.
More good news on the pooter front,i have managed to put another system together and have given it to a family with kids,only problem is i am running out of bits and pieces,so if any one has any odds and doodahs let me know.
We got the wicket mower back again today but couldn,t do a lot with it due to the surfing competition taking place on the edge of the square.happy days
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ALEXFIDO



Joined: 24 Feb 2006

Posts: 67
Location: sidmouth

PostPosted: 24/05/06, 14:43    Post subject: multi-skilling Reply with quote

Its saturday and no game for the seconds,so i loaded up my umpiring paraphenalia (white coat,sheep counter,six 500 lira coins,two pens with cards and the Warsop and gremblethwaite patented all purpose umpires knife,you know the one which can remove grannies from horses hooves or is it granules i can never quite remember).
I went to hexmouth 3rds,they had one,next port of call was woodbury and my luck was in the home side were umpireless,this made my partner from whimple happy as he then didnt have to stand at both ends,painful.
A cracking match and won on the last ball of the game.
Got down the ground yesterday to see "five mowers" already racing around the outfield,the closer i look the better i see an uncanny resemblance to fangio,international jetsetter and racing driver of the thirty,s,which might account as to why he takes the corners so quick.
I got out the atco P.S.T. and proceded to cut the square when a tune unexpectadly enter my head,yes dear readers it was "slipping and a sliding" by those doyurns of chip fat johnny kidd and the pyrats.
Well it was like trying to drive on jelly though i did manage to disipate most of the water,i did manage to have a cursery glance round to see if there were any conning towers then i remembered himmel the teutonic hound growling on about something to do with stuka,s,ive no idea what the potty mutt was going on about.oh well .happy days Shocked
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